Back in the Bondage Boot

Friday I hobbled in the green cast to Union Square, watched a group of people unfurl an "Occupy Wall Street" banner and then went to see Dr. Hubbard and Marco.

Happily Marco removed my cast, but with my foot still tender Dr. Hubbard ordered an x-ray to check that the screw holding the achilles in place hadn't pulled out. It hadn't, so he put be back in the bondage boot with orders to email him Thursday with a pain update. If the pain is still there I will have to have an MRI to check the actual tendon.

So far it looks like I get to miss that claustrophobia. The pain was there on Friday, but seems to be okay now. I did have some pain during my photo assignment yesterday, but that could be simply because it was my first time on my feet for an hour, trying to move around to get the shots I needed.

This morning my foot is generally sore, but no isolated pain the way I had before the cast. Hopefully this means I can avoid an MRI and go back to physical therapy. I did speak to Dr. Hubbard about not wanting to return to PT unless I knew he had spoken with Carlos about what my foot is allowed to do - he agreed. I absolutely do not want a repeat of this! As it is I know my recovery has been set back by at least three weeks. I should have remembered none of my surgeries have ever been smooth and easy.

Honestly, I suspect I am losing some perspective on the whole thing. I am depressed that I can't get out and shoot, even if it just walking through the botanic gardens and catching some of the early blooms. I had to turn down a residency because I knew I wouldn't be ready to walk enough to get the photos. I hate feeling forced to be this inactive.

I was excited to start PT because it meant I was on the mend and it was a real step towards getting my life back, now I am left in a limbo, hoping that if I stay pain free Dr. Hubbard will let me return soon. Forget the month I spent basically stuck in my apartment - this is when I need people to amuse me.

Monday, Monday, Can't Trust That Day

Who knew I could miss the bondage boot! Friday I couldn't even keep up with an elderly neighbor who is recovering from a heart attack, has arthritis and walks with a cane. Saturday it took me over an hour to walk 5 blocks to the market, buy seven items and walk home, and that was without a line for the cashier. Sunday a neighbor asked me for a favor to walk her dog as she had to catch a train - I didn't time how long the six block walk took, but I was more then ready to elevate my leg when I got home.

Today I had a simple day planned with minimal walking - best laid plans and all that. I had to drop off a portfolio and thought I'd stop and grab a chai at the nearby Starbucks. I got yelled at by the manager for ordering additions off the menu and was told I was a "trouble maker". I walked out and took a bus to my favorite coffee place where they are friendly and willing to make my drink to order. I am left wondering what ever happened to customer service!

A bit more walking then I had planned, so I'm postponing some of today's errands until later this week. With multiple friends offering to inflict physical harm on the physical therapist I have decided what I really want (and am not going to get) is him running all the errands that have become more difficult for me this week.

The problem with the cast (besides it's bulkiness) is that I can't feel where I setting my foot down, so I walk very slowly and continue to overcompensate. And even in the cast the heel hurts making me a bit terrified that this has set me back much more then one week. I have already had to cancel one photo shoot and have one a week from today that I can't cancel, but have no idea how to do if I am still in the cast. That is a big fear for me, that I will see Dr. Hubbard Friday and he will decide I need more time in a cast and even more limited mobility - I am not going back to the knee walker!

Just When I Thought I Was Out...

Marco emailed me yesterday in response to my worry saying it was probably nothing, but they had decided I should come in today. I cancelled my physical therapy and worried.

This morning I woke up with the ankle so stiff it didn't even want to bend enough to go in the boot. This did lead to one positive discovery - my tall cast shower bag fits over the boot. This meant I was able to confidently stand in the shower, which made me briefly happy.

I was also relatively pain free until I had to climb the stairs from the subway platform. After the longest wait I've ever had in Dr. Hubbard's waiting room (made some what surreal by the high school or college football player afraid of an MRI and a doppelganger for actor John Daley) Dr. H. asked me some questions, poked my heel, made me bend it and decided I hadn't torn the incision, but may have pulled it.

So to show my Irish I am now sporting a green cast from my toes to just below my knee. I picked the color. I get to wear this walking cast for a week as we give my heel some quiet time. I miss the bondage boot. At least wearing it I could tell where my foot was. In the cast and cast bootie I find myself over compensating for my fear that I am not lifting my foot high enough. As I said to Marco, I now have a truly eclectic collection of left footwear.

In the cast for a week, followed by a re-evaluation. I am just hoping this hasn't pushed my recovery back too much. I took a cab, rather then trying to walk through the subways, to my afternoon appointment. I did make a detour to visit the physical therapy office. I cancelled my appointments for next week and told both Ed and Carlos that no one was allowed to touch me - once I'm allowed to return to PT - unless they have spoken to Marco or Dr. Hubbard about what they can and can't do. I thought I was being good not hitting anyone with my new cane.

I am not finding this as light as I've been playing it. This has made me angry and worried and depressed. I thought everything was going so well. As a friend keeps reminding me this is not the worst thing -  it just sometimes feels like it.

Tentative First Steps

Well, I have seen proof that the foot was still there under all that cotton and bandages.

I could even have Dr. Hubbard's initials tattooed on my shin if I so desired. Don't look too closely, or you'll see how much the hair grew under the cast. Marco says I can now wear the short leg sleeve to shower, but need to keep my foot at an angle so as not to pull the tendon or sutures. (I suspect I'll feel safer keeping the shower chair around for a bit longer.)

Somehow I thought it would be a horizontal scar, but it is vertical and looks like it runs from the base of my heel up to the back of my ankle - 3 to 4 inches. Right now it still has black sutures and resembles a back-seamed stocking. (No, I didn't get a picture, couldn't figure out how to tell Marco to move or how to angle the camera phone.)

When I got to the office, Marco took me back and cut off the cast, inspected my incision and put on some Xeroform gauze ("...a medicating and deodorizing agent. Ideal for use on non-draining to lightly draining wounds...") and wrapped it in an ace bandage (as seen above). Marco also took a look at my knee, which had started bleeding lightly from the rubbing and use of the walker. he put some more medicated gauze on it and said to just watch it for a while. The last thing I need is to have to go see Dr. W in the middle of dealing with my foot.

I then got my big toe x-rayed to see if I had broken it when I banged it in the shower last week. It is still  feeling swollen and generally off. The decision from Dr. Hubbard was that there may have been a hairline fracture, but no break that he could see and since it was going to be strapped in my new boot there was no worry.

I found it a bit strange that Dr. Hubbard didn't want to examine the incision himself, never before known a surgeon who didn't want to see his work, but I like and trust Marco so just noted the absence. Dr. Hubbard did come and wiggle my foot and check my strength after my x-ray. He said I was allowed "not much" walking in the new boot and need to use my crutches as added support. He seemed a bit surprised by the neuropathy on the ball of my foot and base of my toes, but thought the feeling would return.

I then got sized for what I shall be referring to as my bondage boot. Made by the same people as my other immobilizing boot, this one has more straps and an adjustable wedge to keep my achilles at angle as it continues to heal.

With a black sock instead of the white one provided, it feels like something for a KISS costume or, as my name for it implies, a certain type of club.

We tried it with two wedges, but that put too much pressure on the ball of my foot, which didn't seem a good idea when I can't feel it. So for now, it's one wedge and lots of straps. I can take the boot off at night, but if I have to get up during the night I have to put it on or go back to not weight bearing. Because of the wedge it is also difficult to get comfortable seated. It feels like my knee is up too high and with the nerves of my heel still recuperating it is difficult to tell how much pressure I am actually placing on it.

Just the walk with crutches from the hall stairs to my neighbors door and then home had me sweating and my stomach churning this afternoon. It seems to be better this evening and I have been able to feed the cats and get from one end of the apartment to the other.

I did e-mail Marco and Dr. H for clarification on how much walking constituted Dr. Hubbard's "not much". Very glad I did. For me, even in my other boot, walking 10 or more blocks (often each way) doesn't seem like very much. Limitations for me often mean no more then 5 or 6 blocks. Their idea is no more then 1/2 a block in a given day. If I'm honest I can do that just walking around my apartment and going to the elevator and downstairs to get my mail. But I promised Marco I would be good, even though I am starting to go into Chai latte withdrawal and was counting on the new boot meaning I could get to see my favorite baristas.

For now, I am scheduled to see Marco, I was told Dr. Hubbard won't be in the office, in two weeks for another assessment. I attempted to bribe him with my chocolate toffee cookies to look the other way while I snuck in some extra walking but he didn't seem willing to bite. Obviously he does not know my baking reputation.

The other big news from the appointment is the decision to take me off the Lovenox and put me on a simple aspirin regimen. I'm thrilled, except for the fact that I'm left with over 20 unused and unopened syringes of the medication. When I went on-line for prices, I found that it is somewhere in the neighborhood of $500 of medication that neither my doctor nor the pharmacy will take back. In a country where so many don't have health insurance it seems a complete waste to not be able to find some clinic or program where I can donate the unused shots. A friend recommended a few places in NYC and I'll take some time tomorrow to do some internet research.

My other goal for tomorrow is to find someone who can pick up some allergy medication. I have been fighting with a sinus migraine for two days now and have run out of decongestant. If I'm going to be cooped up in this apartment for another two weeks I need to clear my sinus cavities!