As if to remind me I'm doing the right thing, my heel has been periodically twinging and my ankle swelled impressively yesterday.
Friday I kept wishing it was Sunday and I was getting it over with, today I'd like to add some extra hours to the day - 120 should do! I thought I was basically ready until I wrote up a full "to do" list last night. None of the tasks will take very long, except for baking the banana bread, but seeing a sheet of paper filled with things to do in the next 20 hours feels overwhelming. Add that to the general stress of surgery and I'm ready to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head.
I'm also waiting for the final word if I have to scramble and find a back-up to pick me up from the surgical center tomorrow. The friend I had lined up to pick me up has a family crisis which may throw both our schedules out the window. As I started trying to find a back-up plan Friday I had to wonder, what happens to those who can't pressure spouses, lovers, parents, siblings or children into being our "responsible adult" escort? Are you banned from ever having surgery? Do you have to live in the hospital?
It is especially hard for those of us who live alone and don't like asking for help at the best of times. For me a hospital pick-up (and this is my fourth since October 2009) is a delicate procedure. Finding someone reliable, whose schedule can be changed without worry I immediately rule out friends with office jobs or young children. Some of my freelance friends may be in the middle of a project. Other friends may agree to do it, but will make me feel they are doing it under duress or that I owe them for their generosity. Ex's are always tricky with all the relationship baggage and possible false expectations. I often get to the point where I have to wonder if it would be easier to simply call an escort service and book the fantasy of being taking home from the hospital.
For now, it's time to start working my "to do" list and not stress over anything until I have to.
Friday I kept wishing it was Sunday and I was getting it over with, today I'd like to add some extra hours to the day - 120 should do! I thought I was basically ready until I wrote up a full "to do" list last night. None of the tasks will take very long, except for baking the banana bread, but seeing a sheet of paper filled with things to do in the next 20 hours feels overwhelming. Add that to the general stress of surgery and I'm ready to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head.
I'm also waiting for the final word if I have to scramble and find a back-up to pick me up from the surgical center tomorrow. The friend I had lined up to pick me up has a family crisis which may throw both our schedules out the window. As I started trying to find a back-up plan Friday I had to wonder, what happens to those who can't pressure spouses, lovers, parents, siblings or children into being our "responsible adult" escort? Are you banned from ever having surgery? Do you have to live in the hospital?
It is especially hard for those of us who live alone and don't like asking for help at the best of times. For me a hospital pick-up (and this is my fourth since October 2009) is a delicate procedure. Finding someone reliable, whose schedule can be changed without worry I immediately rule out friends with office jobs or young children. Some of my freelance friends may be in the middle of a project. Other friends may agree to do it, but will make me feel they are doing it under duress or that I owe them for their generosity. Ex's are always tricky with all the relationship baggage and possible false expectations. I often get to the point where I have to wonder if it would be easier to simply call an escort service and book the fantasy of being taking home from the hospital.
For now, it's time to start working my "to do" list and not stress over anything until I have to.
